We need to notice what step we’re on and stop before it’s too late. David got a lesson in this years ago.
Step 1: Have a lot of stress or emotion we’re trying to deal with. Happens to all of us, but it is a time to watch our reactions and responses.
1 Samuel 25:1 “And Samuel died…And David arose, and went down to the wilderness of Paran.” David’s spiritual leader died, and David was still running for his life from Saul.
Step 2: Expect to get what we think we deserve. Nothing wrong here, but it’s definitely a time to stop and think before we say or do something we’ll regret.
In 1 Samuel 25:8, David sends his men to get their reward from Nabal and say “give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants, and to thy son David.” The reward was culturally owed them, but the overreaction to rejection was coming.
Step 3: Turn a request into a demand because we’re struggling to recognize how angry we are.
After Nabal refused to reward David and the men for their service, 1 Samuel 25:13 says, “And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword.” David was the anointed king already and yet he was about to destroy some of his people in an overreaction.
Step 4: Justify the overreaction we’re about to commit.
1 Samuel 25:21 says, “Now David had said, Surely in vain have I kept all that this fellow hath in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that pertained unto him: and he hath requited me evil for good.” I don’t think David protected those shepherds just to get a reward. But now that’s all he could see.
Step 5: Lose sight of what matters most (the big picture).
Thankfully with Abigail’s help David skipped that step and stopped his overreaction. Nabal’s wife Abigail said, “I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my Lord a sure house; because my Lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.” (1 Samuel 25:28)
Especially when we’re angry or stressed, let’s take time to notice what step we’re on and maybe start stepping the other direction.